After 5 months without a break from work my parents offered me a room in a cottage they’d booked in the Lake District several months before leaving. Initially I was a little apprehensive, unsure what a holiday with parents would be like this far on from flying the nest. But partly through convenience, and the beautiful location I went ahead. During the weeks leading up to the holiday I had no expectations or plans for things to do. My past experiences of the Lakes involving temperamental weather to say the least. By the time it came to stepping out of the office and onto yet another delayed and busy train I was really looking forward to a total escape.

In classic last minute packing I filled my Brother’s hand-me-down duffle bag with clothes for all eventualities. Far be it from me to determine whether or not I’d need shorts and flip-flops or full waterproofs. The weather up there is a little delayed as the seasons move at walking pace northwards. I woke up in good time for the early pick-up to avoid the traffic. My parents, having always struggled with navigating in the car to where I live, hadn’t quite managed to pull up on my road, but rather at the end. A short walk later I was in the car feeling rather fresh with the early morning chill.

We made good time travelling up to the first stop at Warrick service. I was definitely ready for some breakfast by then. Sadly, as with any roadside cafe, the full-english must have been sitting on the hot plate for quite a while. My parents were trying to keep an eye out for the red kites along the way. Reading being relatively plagued with them it wasn’t something I really wanted to keep an eye on. I was quite content with gazing out across the chilterns.

It was another decent stint of motorway driving by my dad before we wound up at Lancaster services for another break. But after 406 miles from my parents house we’d made it to Stainton in the north-east of the national park. As we got out the car to scope out the cottage a Black Labrador had happily plonked down and was eagerly watching us while her walker was trying to jivvy her along. Apparently she had a tendency to assume any car had her owners in while she was with her ‘grandmother’. Despite the sun there wasn’t a lot of heat compared to the unseasonably warm weather I’d been having back in Reading.

Although we were a little earlier than the check-in time the cottage was ready for us. After entering a code on the outdoor coded key box - much like ones I’d been used to in the escape rooms that I’ve done with my housemates - we were in. Thankfully although I had to duck in through the door the rest of downstairs had decent headroom for a cottage of its age. We didn’t take too long to unload the car and unpack all the paraphernalia that comes with cottage rental holidays. We decided we’d have a wander around the village, naturally gravitating towards the local pub - The Kings Arms. It was good to see that Black Sheep ale was on tap, rather than the usual bottled offering you’d have to default to from Tesco back home. They also had some rhubarb gin, which I’d noted to try - but never actually got around to.

I was quite disappointed to discover that the notebook that I’d packed turned out not to be my travel notebook, but an old, and filled work one. So much for escaping and capturing things in detail. So the rest is from memory, and a smattering of notes that I made on my phone.

We ventured out after a nice meal to explore the village on foot. Although not particularly remote, there was not a lot of pavement, so we quickly ended up walking down the side of the road. Seeing the sheep on the hill grazing behind a church with sunlight making the green grass stand out more was so welcome after months of very little escape from urban areas. One house had a sign on the outside that made me chuckle bearing the words “Sod the dog, beware of the wife”. This played well with my parent’s sense of humour too. There was a beautiful pink flower that Mum pointed out to me and told me that it was a Rose Bay Willow Herb. My brain was barely able to take anything new in after such a stint of work without respite. Because of the season delay up there we saw Elderberries ripe and ready. This was combined on one plant the same time as Elderflower was in bloom, which I found odd.

There’s a running joke that I couldn’t tell the difference between Elderflower and Cow Parsley, which would make for some awful wine! Thankfully Kirsty knowledged me up and I can now.

It wasn’t long before we crossed a more major road and headed down another, with a small hub of industry. With Sunbeams music centre, Redhills Business Park, and business incubator. Minutes walk from The Lakes Free Range Egg company. The spot was idillic, but with a touch of modern architecture - one of the buildings rooftops were planted with grass. Although the food options would pale in comparison to the offerings of London’s square mile it’d be a literal breath of fresh air. Despite being next to an A road you couldn’t hear the road noise. This wasn’t to be our only visit as we’d made a note to visit the heritage centre we’d popped into along the way. It had a nice outdoor shop that was definitely worth more of a nose. Complete with a wall of Fjärllräven backpacks.

Saturday was the day Dad had picked to go on the Ullswater steamer boat. This was the one firm plan for the trip, with the rest being left up in the air. The start was Pooley Bridge, which had actually been destroyed by Storm Desmond in 2015. In its place now is a metal bridge. The weather for the day was the best of the week according to the forecast. So we made an early start to get the first boat across the lake. There was a small queue to buy tickets, but out on the Jetty it was a beautiful sight seeing the water so still and the sun shining. I tried to capture some of it on my camera. Some lovely, well behaved dogs had joined the boat. Sitting happily up on owners laps, ears flapping in the wind as the boat chugged along. The boat was no longer actually a steam boat, but played homage to its heritage with a bright red chimney. Being a man of little natural insulation I was glad of my hoodie and windproof. We had a few stops along the river to drop people off, and pick people up. This, of course, meant there were dog swaps which bought an inquisitive pair of dogs which came in for a sniff and a good fuss. You could see cows right up at the waters edge too - another lovely sight.

We disembarked at Glenridding, where we stopped for a quick bite to eat and a drink. I went with a nice Fentimans Ginger beer and a KitKat. I made a choice to pick up a sandwich too. This was much needed later on as the walking we were about to do helped work up quite the appetite. The Ullswater way wasn’t quite as well signposted as the pamphlet seemed to assume. Walking past Patterdale, which I didn’t know was there, made me think of a lovely little dog; Tilly. We rounded the end of the lake and had to gamble at which path to take. Up a beaten track that a post van somehow managed to get up we had walked a fair distance before we saw our first path marker. It turned out we were on the right track. We weren’t high enough to be up in the heather but we could see it, just after its seasonal prime, in a band above us.

We were passed by a couple of men running with large packs. I could only hope to reach that level of fitness. Just before lunch we saw why - a lady had fallen badly on the trail and they were mountain rescue. They had called across a rescue boat to get her to hospital, but there was still a fair distance to get to the shore. Some mountain bikers were making their descent so we warned them about it. Again, not a path I’d choose to take on my bike! After a spot of lunch we continued along Ullswater Way. The views opened up for a bit and we could look out across the lake. There just so happened to be a pub and tea room that we just happened to stop at. The bar was about 2 foot long, but there was plenty of room in the garden to sit on the grass and soak up some sun after making it about halfway. Mum hadn’t joined me and Dad for that, but instead enjoyed a tea and cake somewhere with an actual seat.

The next phase of the walk we saw other groups of walkers with full packs - who were doing their Duke of Edinburgh Gold award expedition. We passed by the other boat stops. Debating whether to take one of the back the remainder. But on seeing the size of the queues for each the wait would have been about as long as the walk itself. With the weather still being good we were quite happy to just continue. The end of the walk took us through a campsite, which had no signposting. But we knew roughly the direction that we needed to head in because we could see the jetty that we’d left from that morning. We could see the Herdwick sheep from the path. They seemed to be Mums favourite breed. We passed a couple of fields of cows, with a huge bull almost out of sight behind the wall.

The next day I set up my phone on the windowsill of the cottage - the one place I could get signal - so that we could have a Skype call as a family with my brother and sister-in-law in New Zealand, who’d recently welcomed Rose, my niece, into their little family. This was her big debut with having just seen her photos before. It was a lovely way to start the day. My brother as a dad would take some getting used to in my head. Let alone me being an Uncle. It was especially sweet when he turned the camera around to see his cat and dog laying side by side, staring at her. An undefeatable rival for attention.

Being a Sunday we’d booked the nearby hotel for a meal on the recommendation of the dog walker. I merrily misread the 2-4-1 Gin sign as being fine for the day. It wasn’t. But seeing as it was what Dad and I had decided to have we weren’t perturbed. I gave him my recommendation of Hendricks to try, a change from his normal Bombay Sapphire. I went with Sipsmiths because I don’t think I’d had it before. I was glad to have Whitebait as a starter, then roast beef, and then a dessert - something I don’t normally go for. I must have been hungry. We had another wander around in the afternoon after a good strong nap.

The next day we were off back in the direction of Glenridding but stopping short. We made use of Mum and Dad’s National Trust membership and had ourselves some free parking. There were quite a few other people there to see the falls. After a short walk up the hill we could see the falls. I took some time to take some photos here to show the flowing water. We continued up and away from the lake to climb up Glenbarrow. I was glad that we’d asked which way around to do the circuit, as the steps we were going up wouldn’t have been much fun to walk down. The clouds were low here and we were soon walking through them. The wind picked up as we reached the highest point where we posed for photos. Not that there was much in them but clouds. The path down meandered and the views improved again. Being the other side of the lake we could see where we’d walked before.

After the walk we sat on a ‘penny-d’ bench to eat our lunch. Then headed into Glenridding proper for a bit of shopping where I picked up some Kendal Mint cake for the office in a shop. Clearly I’m in the wrong business if you can sell offcuts of logs with a burnt-on smiley face for as much as they were! That evening was quite eventful - it was my turn to cook. The veg was on and boiling away quite happily. I turned on the oven, or so I thought. But 15 minutes later it was still as cold as when I’d started ‘cooking’. Oh good, now the timings were all going to be off. Making do with holiday cottage equipment I managed to sort out enough tray space for the burgers under the grill. Eventually they’d started cooking. I turned the veg down as low as the electric hob would let me. I nipped to the loo for just a moment and almost at the same time as I’d closed the door the smoke detector started bleeping. But it was too late, I was committed now. Sheepishly I went back downstairs to see smoke had done a good job of filling the kitchen. I’d like to point out here that the burgers themselves weren’t burning, but it was the oil that was splatting onto the grill. The red wine went down well with it.

Keswick was nice to spend some time in. More nice outdoor shops. But sadly still not one with quite the type of top that I’d been keeping an eye out for the whole trip. One of the pubs had a sweet little beer barrel and bowl out for dog water. The town was full of dogs and their owners. Border terriers seemed to be the most popular. The pub we had lunch in had a friendly landlord who’d mocked me for not insisting on paying for the whole meal and reminisced about his visits to Reading for the festival.

We had a brief walk around the edge of a reservoir, which sported some sweet wild raspberries along the path. We stopped short of wading through boggy marshland to get around the other side. We’d hoped that it would have been an easy walk but sadly not so we turned back to the carpark. A very low flying Hercules passed over the reservoir, shattering the peace and tranquility for a little while. Back at the carpark, we went up another path to another nice view, with Helvellyn as a backdrop.

We stopped in Grasmere, a small village, for a short time. This was easily one of the busiest places that we visited. Coach loads of tourists unloaded and carparks were full. Fortunately on the way through to the carpark I’d spotted somewhere that we could park for a couple of hours for free. Which just so happened to be outside the Grasmere ginger cake shop. I nipped inside to pick up some of it for work and myself. There were piles of it on the side pre-wrapped in the wax paper. It smelled amazing.

Coming back to work was quite a shock to the system after such removal from city life. But sometimes it takes changes to appreciate other things more.

A calm morning with final bits of packing and a quick visit to the bins with our waste. Chris and I tried valiantly to put things in the right bins, almost immediately finding out too late that’d made a mistake and not actually put our things to recycle properly. It wasn’t long before we left so I sat down to squeeze a bit more into the diary. Finally we left in a staggered fashion to check that the apartment entrance door was open before we locked our keys inside.

We didn’t travel far before we reached the café for the morning breakfast. But it was all the way over the other side of the road! We took a glance for a table, but were ushered into the back room, where we gladly took up the middle of the area with our luggage. I got a meal of bread and Serrano ham, with an Americano for breakfast. The room was very warm. We took some amusing photos of us all to pass some of the time. Chris popped to the loo and announced that it smelt like roast chicken when he came out. He had to quickly clarify that he meant the room, not the toilet.

I was more careful to duck in the corridor when we left, having lightly brushed my head on the ceiling on the way in. The trials and tribulations of being 6’6”. We set off again in the direction of the Arc de Triumf to explore another area of the park. We found a fountain with a number of golden statues around it. A small dog was very excitedly running up to the edge of the fountain, pausing and looking back at its owner, almost asking if it could go in! (Can I!? Can I!?). We were all willing it, but it was quite happy to sit and wait while the owner attached its lead.

We soon sat at a caravan café to watch the world go by. It wasn’t long before a ‘Bubble Man’ showed up armed with his sticks and a string to bring a plethora of bubbles into the scene. Small children quickly gathered around to jump around, beaming smiles, trying to pop all of them! What a lovely sight.

I settled down to read some more of my book. But Alex was keen to get a coffee now. We had just been discussing donating a little something to the ‘Bubble Man’, which would help us to get rid of some of the change but also being charitable. I offered up my wallet ‘horde’ of coins to the pile. Chris then handed the pile to Alex saying “For your coffee” along with holding him his paper cup for the bin. Alex promptly stood up and put all of the coins into the man’s collection hat. Chris was a bit annoyed and said to Alex he’d given his share of the coins to go towards Alex’s coffee, which bemused me as I thought it was the plan. We had a good laugh at this with egging on repeated jeers for repeating the explanation for both sides of the story.

We continued to the end of the park and looped around, eventually settling on a bench to find somewhere to eat. Alex found a Chinese restaurant, which it turned out offered cheap beer, and a €6 buffet. I opted for pork, pak choi, and Tofu. There looked to be something resembling sweet and sour chicken, but Alex warned me after his first mouthful that it was fish. Must have been quite a shock tasting that after expecting chicken!

I wasn’t able to finish mine but we had to head back to collect our luggage. There was a moment of mild panic whilst we correctly entered the cod for our luggage and the door would not open. Despite the sign saying ‘Open gently’. It turned out that it needed a gentle push before the door fully unlocked and a we were able to open it and get our luggage back.

We took the Aerobus (ayero booz) back to the airport with a smooth check in and breeze through security. We noted that the shops weren’t going to be accessible from the departure gate (D), so we went down to them first to kill some time as we had arrived with plenty of time to spare. We went off in the direction of Duty free first. Some of the gin was well priced, but the Whisky was not! Having plenty of Gin already waiting for me at home I didn’t want to buy any, and having spent my last euros at the Chinese to pay back Alex and Steph for my portion of the first big shop, it’d have been difficult. After seeing some places upwards of €3 for a coffee we opted for McDonalds - in the city itself you could get a coffee and a croisannt for €1.70. I finished my book whilst sat at the table. Noting an in-joke in a message from the last page to send to Kirsty, which would automatically send when I landed and got signal.

On the plane about 3 people seemed to have sat next to me before taking off. The last one made me laugh when his closed tea cup popped open when the cabin pressure dropped to the 8,000 ft.

All in all a fantastic trip. Very grateful to Chris for lending me his pen. It made it until the last sentence for the diary before giving up the ghost!

Today was another leisurely start with no firm plans for what to do. I was rather tired so this was fine by me. I gave me some much needed time to catch up with the diary and a chance to chat a little to Kirsty while she made her way into work. I decided after finishing half a day of writing that I would get ready to go out in case people decided to go somewhere. Just as I’d finished getting ready I noticed that the front door was open and the guys were all standing there about to leave. It turned out that they had been discussing in the living room while I was reading Goldenhand and thought that I’d heard it all.

So we went together, leaving Steph to recover after feeling a bit more ill. We took a metro to the Plaza España to walk up the hill and see the view across the city. It was rather hazy but you could really see all the landmarks that we had been walking past for the week. From the top we could also see the Olympic Stadium - the rings had no colour (either eroded or never did). As per any free attraction, street sellers and beer sellers lined the area. Chris accidentally turned and trod on one such display. He was very apologetic, thankfully nothing broke and they didn’t ask him for money.

I felt a couple of drops of rain as we descended the steps. There were actually some outdoor escalators, which I wondered how would fare in a deluge of rain. We had no waterproofs with us - much like the majority of locals. Thankfully the rain held off and we returned to the apartment to see Steph. We planned to get Paella with Tom the evening before, being a local dish. I was quite hungry at this point, and aware of the amount of beer in the fridge that would need using before we left. I helped myself to a can and some Doritos as I wasn’t sure how long it would be until we left to eat. It turned out not very long at all. I got through a couple of book Chapters, Chris also grabbed a beer. So we had to finish those quickly before heading off in the direction of a Paella restaurant, which happened to be next to one of Gaudi’s apartments. I took the group on what I called the ‘scenic route’ - that is to say that we needlessly cross the Diagonal Avenue and back again. I defended this detour by saying that we wouldn’t have seen the nicely architected building if we hadn’t!

The waiters in the restaurant all wore waistcoats. Being on my last few euros I began to wonder just how much it would come to here as we sat down. Especially given it’s proximity to such a popular and expensive attraction. At €14 it wasn’t cheap, given the poor exchange rate. I opted for water to drink. Chris and Alex shared a jug of Sangria. The food came out on their metal cooking pans. Chris’ was extremely hot to the touch, requiring extra precautions when he dug in!

Most of my mussel shells were cracked open. Despite this I saw that one would have originally been completely shut. Going by the golden rule of not eating it as it wasn’t openMyself. As did a couple of the others. Shellfish is a force to be reckoned with if it’s bad. The rest was nice, although I would say a touch overdone. The squid was particularly chewy but not unpleasant. One mouthful had the added shock of a broken shell - quite an unpleasant crunch!

We took a slightly different route back to the apartment by Gaudi’s other apartment, which Steph hadn’t seen yet. It was sad to see beggars outside shops for Louis Voutton, Georgio Armani, and Gucci. A stark contrast to different lifestyles. Back in the apartment I wrote some diary updates and dozed off a little, as did the others. But it was not long before we had to see Tom off on his journey home. It had rained a bit, so the streets were damp - Tom actually slipped over at one crossing. We walked past a bar where I saw a girl slumped in a chair with some sick on the pavement beneath while her friends continued laughing and chatting. I was concerned so made a note to check on the way back that she wasn’t still there, it was only 7pm.

Some of the landmarks were quite transformed in the night, but it was evident that not many people were out due to the rain. I noticed that far more smokers were out, though that may have been due to noticing it more easily in the cleaner air. I could still see the telltale signs of pollution, as with London, in my nose but not the same for the exposure.

When we got back Chris and I set about the task of making a carbonara with the market bought mushrooms. It was the first time I’d made one from scratch. I always seem to forget about creme frâiche as an ingredient. It turned out uite well. Steph and I polished off the last of the Gin we had bought on the first day with some added freshly squeezed lime. Then came the sad time of packing. <y socks were still wet from washing so I put them out to dry more. I left my Toothbrush on to charge so I wouldn’t have to when I got home. We all settled down to bed about midnight.

I woke up rather early today, and decided to use the washing machine and brave hanging it out of the window after a brief spell in the contemplation zone reading my book. Sadly I had messed up a setting, which meant that the spin was slow and resulted in my clothes coming out sopping wet. We set off once again towards the Arc de Triomf. This time, however, we were actually planning on the zoo visit. Would today be the day I saw a Red Panda in the fur, not asleep the whole time, like when I was 6!? It had been quite some time since my last visit to a zoo, I especially wanted to go to this one whilst here as I knew they had the Red Pandas. Zoos are a mixed experience for me. Some things I have no problem with seeing there, but when it comes to certain animals and their conditions, although regulated, I feel a little uncomfortable with. Mostly depending on the size and intelligence of the animals.

The vultures looked much bigger than you see on TV documentaries. Alex mentioned just how large their wingspans were just before one started to stretch its out and display for us, as if on cue. We watched a couple of them picking at the carcass of something with a tussle going on as to who got dibs. Noting quite how far the poo was outside the cage I took a step back. This was quickly validated by one of the two doing its business in the direction of the cage edge. Thankfully not reaching outside, but enough to show quite how it all got there.

We stopped by the dolphins, one of which was not bred in captivity. The zoo had adopted a policy to not take in dolphins from the wild. Another thing I was quite pleased to hear was that they no longer did performing shows for an audience. Although in some respects I can see the training being fun for them, it is still unnatural. I find this to be a positive reflection of the expectation from the public thanks to the evolution of culture and society.

Naturally, for me the highlight was seeing the Red Panda. When we approached it I couldn’t see any out, but there were several wooden huts stuffed with hay, which I would guess that some were asleep inside. I let the others know then that they were actually nocturnal. Slightly disheartened I walked away, only to be called after by Chris who had spotted one up in the tree, difficult for me to see under the low canopy. Just as I crouched to take a photo of the red fluff ball on the branch it popped its head up from buried within a huge fluffy tail. It gave a brief glance around, looked at everyone, yawned and licked its nose before settling back down again to sleep. Perfect timing for me! I would have loved to seen some playing but that was special in itself!

Sadly Tom was not so lucky with the Jaguar, which did not show itself but remained in its hidden area behind the enclosure door. Chris, however, was fortunate enough to see the Giant Anteaters in action. Perfect opportunity for some photos. We passed by huge giraffes, which dwarfed the rhino and elephants, which somehow seemed smaller than I thought. The hippos seemed quite content to float about blowing bubbles. A bison decided to stamp, leap, and generally flex its muscles as we went past. This transported me back to seeing them in the wild in Yellowstone.

After the zoo we reunited with Steph who had been out in the sun reading and listening to music. There had been a loud wailing child for a long time, which had irritated her. We walked to Oporto (Portugese) restaurant, where I mistakenly asked for veal, confusing it with venison - it was delicious all the same. We just about made it to the Gaudi Cathedral (Sagrada Família) in time for our 3pm booked time slot. Security spent some time checking through bags. Straight after being let through we were struck by the intricate designs. There was a Welsh lady that was well spoken who asked for a photograph of her by one of the green doorways. In the conversation surrounding this we let her know that Gaudi had died long before it was finished, to which she responded “Oh shit! Is he dead!?”, which we found to be quite amusing given her demeanour!

Walking in through the door took my breath away. The vaulting and stained glass appeared so orderly in comparison to the outside. The place was huge, despite so many people wandering around there was a big sense of space. Possibly this could be due to the lack of seating in the place. Most other cathedrals that I’ve been to have a lot more seating inside. The central Jesus hanging was impressive with the vibrant colours from shining through the stained glass windows the room was lit up spectacularly.

The smaller alcoves to the sides were impressive enough on their own, but the sheer size of the spectacle as a whole would be difficult to put into words. Unlike the other cathedrals I’ve visited in the past the windows didn’t have any scene depiction despite the intricacy. Though part of the interior had netting it still shone brilliantly through giving a glowing aura. Here I also lent my camera to Steph again so that she could get some enjoyment out of some photography, despite having her camera having been stolen. I had been backing up the photos that I had taken religiously ever since the event so that it would only be material possessions lost, not the photo-documentary.

I spent some time just looking up at the ceiling, as it was equally colourful and impressive. The interior stone had a much more uniform than the colour of the exterior. I would love to return when it is all finished and all the cranes and scaffolding have been removed. There is a museum underneath as you exit. Showing Gaudi’s work and the engineering involved making it. It included a 1:25 scale model of what the finished cathedral would look like. I can certainly see that the final form could be better appreciated from the outside at a bit of elevation.

We left after a walk through the now relatable gift shop. Chris and I got some Ice cream, Steph helped me to pick out a cinnamon flavoured one that was delicious. We went home to drop some things off. We’d decided earlier that tonight was the night for Tom to experience the, now fabled, pork dewlap. We ordered a selection of tapas which included 2 portions of the dewlap, which took the waitress by surprise - she cautioned us as to what it was. me and Alex went for the Gin of the day, Beefeater 24 with pink grapefruit garnish. Chris had a Piña colada. Steph had the Kahlua Alexander cocktail. a little later I was intrigued by the rest of their Gin selection. After asking the waitress what she recommended (her favourite was, as mine, Hendricks). She then suggested that I went with Ophir and offered me a chilli garnish, which loving hot food, I accepted gratefully. The bill came to a whopping €40, over half of which was for the Gin. I rather enjoyed them both, the Ophir was very interesting with just how much it had a black pepper aroma and flavour.

We swung by another Gaudi Apartment on the way back from the cathedral, which paled in comparison, and at €34 entry it was more than enough to just see from the outside. Tom made some Nachos with avocado, cheese, and salsa under the grill when we were back at the apartment - despite just having had the tapas including the melt in your mouth lamb.